15 Months

Well my sweet baby is 15 months old. Time is flying by and I can't believe my sweet newborn has turned into a sweet toddler already. So here's just a little update!

She sleeps from 7pm-7am
Is down to 1 nap a day usually
Eats everything I eat finally
Understands basically everything I say and will do things I ask her to (if she is in the mood!)
LOVES books. Especially The Going To Bed Book
Says Mama, Dada, hi, bye, baby, yay, dog, kitty, bubble, "Gil" (her bubble guppy), no, and she said "thank you" the other day
She walks well and tries to run
Loves throwing a ball around
Still loves being in the water
Can do puzzles and fit shapes in her shape sorters
Knows eye, nose, belly button
Waves hi and bye and claps
Says "bye" when you leave the room and "hi" when you enter
Points out every baby she sees and if you say "can you give the baby a kiss" she will kiss a mirror

I'm sure there's tons I'm missing. At her 15 month they said she's right on track and a bit ahead with her language skills, so that's good. She's also the SWEETEST baby in the world. Last night she was crying because she dropped her binky. So when I went to get it, I picked her up and held her. She laid her head on my shoulder and snuggled in and I just held her and rocked her and kissed her, and when I looked down at her she was sneaking a little smile. I'm SO glad I get to see her at 11:30 today!

This is her favorite thing ever:

"No, it was not me who threw that box of cereal on the floor".

She loves swings!

She LOVES her water table!

Clapping at lunch.

Look at this FACE my Gosh she's adorable!

The Social Life of a Mom: It's Possible!

I was pretty certain that once Evie was born, I would turn into a half-zombie hermit who never slept, never saw daylight, and never went outside. And for a while, that was kind of what happened (sorry guys). Husband was working, and when he wasn't working he was tired, and when he wasn't tired, it was because we were arguing about something stupid because we were both sleep deprived and clueless.

For the most part, my social life was this:

(Evie and her friend Ben at her 1st birthday)

(Play time in Evie's room!)

(Look! There's daylight! And there are two of us, so this totally counts as socialization. I kow she lived in my body and all, but we're totally separate now. IT COUNTS!)

Sometimes Evie and I even ventured out into the world. So she could socialize on her own while mommy socialized with other adult humans!

(Like at this birthday party where she socialized in ways mommy and daddy were not particularly pleased with! My little social butterfly really enjoys talking to strangers. I should probably fix that.)

And sometimes, after I went back to work, I didn't want to deal with people. I just want ed my little girl. So we never went anywhere apart, and I spent every single evening looking at this face.

(We're having a screaming contest. I totally won!)

But it was isolating and I started to feel like I NEEDED to go out every so often. Not a lot. But sometimes. So this happened:

(Husband and I ready for a night out!)

We went to a housewarming party once E hit the hay and my dad watched her. She didn't even notice we were gone. Step 1 completed.  Leave house without baby.

And it was fun. It was a LOT of fun. And husband was getting so good with Evie. Like I would go to work and NOT freak out all. freaking. day. Which I may or may not have been doing for the few months prior because I was convinced I was the only person other than my own parents (who I trusted simply because I'm still alive) who could properly take care of the baby.

And so I took one further step. I started going out after putting the baby to bed on Wednesdays. And wouldn't you know it, husband was capable of watching tv with a baby monitor on for a few hours while she slept. And at that point I thought "what the hell? Let's give it a try". So I went out for a birthday. During the day. Where there would be liquor and tons of people and a totally kid-unfriendly environment. She stayed home with her daddy, I had fun, and he *GASP* put her to bed without me! And she was OK!

It was a bad precedent to set because he put her to bed again last Saturday so I could go see Star Trek with my nerd family of Trekkies. Thats two Saturdays in the same month I did something with PEOPLE. And husband didn't complain. And I feel like a human being. A little bit like the me I was before I had E. The one who had actual interests. The one I'm going to have to find again when E goes off to college and gets married - oh God I cannot think about right now.

OK maybe I'm not completely ready, and for the most part I'll stick to going out after she's already in bed. But I'm starting to realize it's possible to do things by myself or with Andy again. I don't want to do it all the time. I had a kid because I WANT to be her parent and spend my time with her. But if once a month I want to go out with my friends or my husband and leave an hour or two before her bed time, I think that's pretty OK. And it's kind of awesome to be able to put her to bed and not miss out on any time with her and still get to interact with folks. And it feels pretty good to know it might not be as hard to get back in touch with the "old" me as I thought it might be for a while. Of course I will never need to do that because she's totally going to choose to live in her room and be with me forever right?

Fine. But I'm still holding on to her as long as I possibly can. 

11 Months In

At some point in my 11 month mommy career, I realized that I didn't have time to keep up with a "real" blog. I started a Tumblr site with posts that consisted of 1 or 2 sentence rants, and a description comprised of "Things I want to say when I want to say them". Since then, life has managed to settle itself down, and being a mommy to a tiny tot has begun to make a lot more sense to me.

I have to think that sleep has a lot to do with my perception of reality. And since I actually get some now, things are starting to clear up.

I love being a mom. My daughter is at an amazing age where nearly everything makes her happy (particularly her mommy), and she's able to show it through squeals and clapping. I can sit down to dinner and give her food from my plate. This is a phenomenal accomplishment for someone whose husband subsists on pizza alone. Having a food partner is new and exciting.

I can now start thinking of sharing my favorite things with E. I discovered this the other day when I lifted her up to look at a fish tank and she kept trying to grab the fish. She's aware enough to be interested in things like that these days, and I want to teach her about things I love as she grows up. That's not to say I'll force it on her, but it would be nice to have someone who wants to learn about sea life or photography.

It's strange to me that at this time last year my daughter was still inside. At this time she's standing unassisted, taking a step here and there, talking constantly, giving kisses, and just generally being adorable.

Motherhood is not at all what I pictured. It's infinitely harder than I imagined it could be, and I simply had no idea how much I could love another person. I often wonder how I got so lucky. I fully expect payback at some point, for my attitude as a young child. I can see the sass growing in Evangeline, as evidenced (once again) here:

I'm waiting (not so) patiently for the arrival of Spring. For walks (she'll be walking any day) and bike rides and trips to museums and parks. For the zoo! And the beach! And all the other things we'll experience together.

On Friday I'll be able to say it's her birthday month. I'm shocked and amazed at how incredibly blessed Andy and I are to have this little joy in our lives.